Part Memoir. Part Travelogue. All Too Real. This is one of those books where even as McCarthy himself is traveling across the country to meet up with friends from much earlier in his life who he has lost contact with, I find myself reading it as a 43yo man and thinking of my own similar friendships. Specifically Mike, the guy I once worked with in the computer lab at Kennesaw State University where we bonded over playing Halo in the back room between the labs when neither of us had any students to work with, and Sean, the SQL guru who was once essential both in getting me hired at one job and in being a close partner and friend at that job, neither of whom I’ve seen in 10 or even 20 yrs now.
Thus, as McCarthy talks about how much these guys meant to him and how much he misses them… yeah, that absolutely *hits*… and I suspect it will with most guys, because most of us (particularly these days) *all* have these types of friendships. Even my own dad, who lived literally just three houses away from his own best friend for roughly 30 yrs, now lives in the next County up.
The fact that McCarthy uses connecting with his friends as a reason to start off on what becomes a road trip across America from coast to coast talking to the various men he encounters along the way about their own friendships works quite well here, and we get a wide variety of responses and perspectives along the way. Including, even, a female to male transexual teenage child. (That last bit is only a very small part of the overall narrative, but *is* present – so do with that as you will. As part of the overall tale and discussion here, it does in fact add a different perspective and wrinkle, and I pass no judgement here either direction on that perspective.)
The travel part of this almost reads like a version of so many similar projects over the years, including the former Motor Home Diaries where Adam Mueller, Peter Eyre, and Jason Talley once travelled the country searching for liberty in America during Obama’s first year as President – and even more than a few hints of one Jack None Reacher, created by British author Lee Child. Indeed, one passage in particular in Uvalde – yes, that Uvalde, and yes, the school in question is *exactly* where McCarthy was at this point in the narrative – really brings forth shades of the MHD crew, while other passages – specifically in Mississippi – bring forth a more explicitly Reacher vibe as McCarthy seeks out esoteric Jazz legends.
Because this book is primarily memoir and almost entirely direct personal experience, the normal requirements for a nonfiction book to have a 15% or more bibliography don’t really apply here, though even in the Advance Review Copy edition of the book I read, there was in fact at least some recommended reading provided at the end that seemed to include many of the various studies and other works McCarthy had mentioned over the course of his narrative.
Overall this really was a quite fun and even poignant tale that does exactly what its subtitle proclaims – provides “an unscientific examination of male friendship across America”, and in its breadth and quality of writing in particular, it really does excel. Who knew, maybe this “washed up actor” might just be a decent enough writer? 😉 (That last bit was a joke, to be clear. McCarthy really is one of the better travel writers I’ve read in quite a while.)
Very much recommended.
This review of Who Needs Friends by Andrew McCarthy was originally written on March 26, 2026.