Tag: male

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#BookReview: Men Of Virtue by Zachary Wagner

Powerful. Controversial. Desperately Needed. This is one of those books where “Preacher” is stepping on *everyone’s* toes (while aiming for their hearts, as the old joke goes). Left. Right. Woke. Based. Southern Baptist. Cooperative Baptist. Andrew Tate. Elliot (fka Ellen) Page. Don’t matter. Wagner openly proclaims you’re all wrong, and here’s why. Yet even while doing this in a fairly direct, uncompromising manner… he also has (and shows within the text here) quite a bit of heart and compassion for everyone, no matter where they happen to currently find themselves in this particular discussion.

As one example that particularly stood out, at one point Wagner proclaims (apparently quoting someone else?) “A Christian is someone who is always more willing to die than to kill.”, when speaking to Jesus’ pacifism.

But this is truly the heart of the book, from the introduction:

“This book is not a call for us to take back the culture from the ‘feminists’ or the ‘bigots’ or whoever your preferred scapegoat may be.”

Instead, Wagner uses the famous Pauline “Fruits of the Spirit” – Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control – to walk us through a fairly balanced view of what male virtue *should* be according to the Bible itself.

One area that I always look at in Christian nonfiction is the use of prooftexting – citing Bible verses out of context in support or opposition of some point or another – and here, while Wagner decries the practice in the introduction… he actually uses it fairly often throughout the text. Not as horribly as some other authors, and indeed in focusing so much on expounding the famous verse from Galatians he actually provides quite a bit of the overall context of *most* of what he discusses… there’s enough “throw away” proof texting here that it almost constitutes slamming his pinkie toe onto the corner of the bed and snapping it (as I did while reading this book!). Painful in the moment and an unforced error… but ultimately not actually harmful. Yet it still cost him a star on my rating, because I try to be consistent about removing that star *any* time I see the practice used as my one “weapon” in my personal war against all vestiges of the practice.

If you’re interested in Christian ethics and virtue at all, you’re going to need to read this book. Wagner truly does an excellent job of looking at the topic from a remarkably balanced view while actively ignoring many more hot button culture war issues – and actively telling you he is going to and his reasons for doing so.

If you’re not interested in Christian ethics or virtue – or perhaps even question whether that last phrase is an actual oxymoron – this book isn’t going to be for you. Which the cover and description should have told you, but I’m telling you here now as well. Just leave it alone if you are so adamantly anti-Christian or anti-organized religion generally or what have you. You’re only going to make yourself upset as you read it and if you review this book you’re more than likely going to make yourself look like a jackass. So *please*, just leave it alone. This book isn’t for you, and that is perfectly ok. It has an audience, that audience simply doesn’t include you.

Overall though, this book really is a solid examination of its premise, written in a very approachable style and using a cohesive narrative structure quite well indeed.

Very much recommended.

This review of Men Of Virtue by Zachary Wagner was originally written on March 26, 2026.

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#BookReview: Who Needs Friends by Andrew McCarthy

Part Memoir. Part Travelogue. All Too Real. This is one of those books where even as McCarthy himself is traveling across the country to meet up with friends from much earlier in his life who he has lost contact with, I find myself reading it as a 43yo man and thinking of my own similar friendships. Specifically Mike, the guy I once worked with in the computer lab at Kennesaw State University where we bonded over playing Halo in the back room between the labs when neither of us had any students to work with, and Sean, the SQL guru who was once essential both in getting me hired at one job and in being a close partner and friend at that job, neither of whom I’ve seen in 10 or even 20 yrs now.

Thus, as McCarthy talks about how much these guys meant to him and how much he misses them… yeah, that absolutely *hits*… and I suspect it will with most guys, because most of us (particularly these days) *all* have these types of friendships. Even my own dad, who lived literally just three houses away from his own best friend for roughly 30 yrs, now lives in the next County up.

The fact that McCarthy uses connecting with his friends as a reason to start off on what becomes a road trip across America from coast to coast talking to the various men he encounters along the way about their own friendships works quite well here, and we get a wide variety of responses and perspectives along the way. Including, even, a female to male transexual teenage child. (That last bit is only a very small part of the overall narrative, but *is* present – so do with that as you will. As part of the overall tale and discussion here, it does in fact add a different perspective and wrinkle, and I pass no judgement here either direction on that perspective.)

The travel part of this almost reads like a version of so many similar projects over the years, including the former Motor Home Diaries where Adam Mueller, Peter Eyre, and Jason Talley once travelled the country searching for liberty in America during Obama’s first year as President – and even more than a few hints of one Jack None Reacher, created by British author Lee Child. Indeed, one passage in particular in Uvalde – yes, that Uvalde, and yes, the school in question is *exactly* where McCarthy was at this point in the narrative – really brings forth shades of the MHD crew, while other passages – specifically in Mississippi – bring forth a more explicitly Reacher vibe as McCarthy seeks out esoteric Jazz legends.

Because this book is primarily memoir and almost entirely direct personal experience, the normal requirements for a nonfiction book to have a 15% or more bibliography don’t really apply here, though even in the Advance Review Copy edition of the book I read, there was in fact at least some recommended reading provided at the end that seemed to include many of the various studies and other works McCarthy had mentioned over the course of his narrative.

Overall this really was a quite fun and even poignant tale that does exactly what its subtitle proclaims – provides “an unscientific examination of male friendship across America”, and in its breadth and quality of writing in particular, it really does excel. Who knew, maybe this “washed up actor” might just be a decent enough writer? 😉 (That last bit was a joke, to be clear. McCarthy really is one of the better travel writers I’ve read in quite a while.)

Very much recommended.

This review of Who Needs Friends by Andrew McCarthy was originally written on March 26, 2026.

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#BookReview: The Midlife Male by Greg Scheinman

Male Self-Help/ Lifestyle Podcast Turned Book. This is essentially a podcaster turning his podcast (apparently of the same name as the title of the book) into a book. Each chapter begins with an excerpt from an interview from one of the episodes of the podcast, then the author continues the theme of the chapter with his own commentary for seemingly 2,000 – 3,000 words or so while including a few lists of various things related to the chapter at hand. As such and given the nature of the podcast in question, this is primarily geared towards adult males and yes, has the occasional cursing in it as a result, but there is enough here that women *may* find useful as well that it might warrant a read from a particularly curious woman. One refreshing thing to note is that there isn’t really anything “toxic” about the masculinity portrayed herein, Scheinman’s schtick seems to be mostly “embrace who you are, do the right thing, and have fun doing it”. Overall an interesting if not particularly deep read, and it will be interesting to see if the success in printed form mirrors the apparent/ claimed success of the podcast form. Recommended.

This review of The Midlife Male by Greg Scheinman was originally written on October 19, 2022.

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#BlogTour: Her Silent Husband by Sam Vickery

For this blog tour, we’re looking at a solid tale of a not-often-told side of one well-known issue. For this blog tour, we’re looking at Her Silent Husband by Sam Vickery.

Visceral Look At The Underbelly Of Trying To Keep Up. This is one of those books that is largely depressing and frustrating – 75% or so of the book is all about a couple’s fights, the wife/ mother’s struggles with her kids, or the aunt’s own demons. But even through here, while depressing, it is also very *real* – and that fact alone should be celebrated at times. Yes, many of us read to escape reality. But sometimes you need to see “reality” in fiction to get a degree of catharsis about your own situation, and this is one of those books that could actually help there. The flip in the last quarter or so is a bit abrupt, particularly given the characterizations to that point, and the almost Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King style check-in-with-every-major-character multiple epilogues was a bit hit or miss, but otherwise this was a solid story, one that discusses a lot of important concepts like male depression, a man’s drive to provide for his family, a wife/ mother’s drive to do the best by her kids, suicide, drug addiction (heroin specifically is particularly well done here), and a teenage boy’s struggles to do the right thing even when “the right thing” isn’t so crystal clear. Very much recommended.

Below the jump, the “publisher details”, including the book description, author bio, and a link directly to Amazon to buy the book.
Continue reading “#BlogTour: Her Silent Husband by Sam Vickery”